Softening

Buddhist meditation teacher Jack Kornfield tells of a teacher he encountered that led a full hour-long meditation with a group focused solely on “softening”.  Softening towards whatever arises; itching, pain, aches, desires for this and that.  Instead of reacting to our body and\or trying to “fix” whatever arises, to experiment with merely softening towards it instead.  This is apparently the reason we are told not to move during sitting meditation.  Not to shift your posture, or scratch an itch, or resettle your seat.  Instead of reacting, you are asked to soften into it. 

I’m guessing that our bodily reacting (shifting our posture, scratching etc.) isa way of trying to control something we don’t like.  Meditation is a time to experiment with truly understanding that we can soften towards what we can’t control or don’t like rather than trying to “fix” it.  Of course, you can relieve discomfort easily by scratching an itch.  But if you don’t scratch it, you learn that you can endure it and it will go away on its own eventually.  So, why would this be something I would want to do??   Not totally sure – but I’m guessing it has something to do with teaching myself that I can abide unpleasant sensations and situations, can even stop resisting them, and soften towards them as another way of encountering the world. 

Maybe we can learn to “allow” rather than fix,  to “soften” rather than resist.  I’m also aware that for me this is a VERY hard task!  But, a goal. I am willing to pursue.

Here is a poem from Dana Faulds

ALLOW

There is no controlling life.

Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado.

Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.

Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet.

Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground.

The only safety lies in letting it all in –

the wild and the weak –fear, fantasies, failures, and success.

When loss rips off the doors of the heart

or sadness veils your vision with despair,

practice becomes simply bearing the truth.

In the choice to let go of your known way of being,

the whole world is revealed to your new eyes.