"SALVATION BY CATALOGUE"
was how I read a colleague’s recent ministerial post. (It actually read “salvation by
colleagues”!) But, it got me to thinking… HOW many catalogues arrive in my
mailbox each week? Most I just toss, but some always catch my eye with a gorgeous
fashion outfit on the cover that I WANT. Or a photo of some alluring exotic vacation
spot. Wanting is my own personal devil in many ways. I want things, experiences,
things, relationships, things, books, … well you get the picture. I sometimes feel
there is a “wanting monster” inside me. And, I am one who is blessed with SO many
things. Too many.. Now I know I could (after much work!) get those folks to stop
sending me catalogues. But, that’s not really the issue. The issue is the wanting.
There will always be bait out there. Even if I lived on a remote island without mail,
I’m pretty sure I could find things to want.
Will a new outfit, destination, book, kitchen gadget, exotic garden plant save me??
From what? From my already overflowing life? From the few empty days on my
calendar? From the gnawing sense that I am somehow not quite enough?
On some level I know it is not the actual items that I want. And, I also know that
wanting is not bad. Wanting is a positive thing. It indicates our aliveness, our
willingness to try out the new, our desire to be, to have MORE. Wanting moves us
forward. Dreaming moves us forward. Wanting is holy.
It is the having to have that sinks us.