DON'T HURRY

I have been watching a TV series on Netflix called “You can’t ask that”.  Each show consists of a panel of 4 or 5 people who belong to a certain, usually marginalized group – such as; people in wheelchairs, people who are exceptionally short, ex-convicts, trans folk, war veterans etc.  The people on the panel answer questions that are sent in via email – and they agree to answer anything that people ask.  It is usually very informative and engaging.

I think it was on this show where I heard a man who had had a near death experience say that the single thing he learned from that and wanted to pass on was this; 

“Ruthlessly eliminate the hurry from everything in your life!”

My sense of it was that this was said in such earnestness that I couldn’t not pay attention.  I am a hurrier… no matter what I’m up to.  I often regret my mothering years where most of what I remember was telling the kids to “hurry up”.  Hurry up for what?  to where?  Why am I often in such a hurry?  I feel that way in conversations often – wanting the person to “get to the point”.  It’s a nefarious habit of mine.  I don’t know where it comes from.  My parents were not particularly hurriers as I remember.  I am, however, almost always anxious to get to the “next thing” – even if I don’t know what that might be.  I am, of course, married to a person who likes to amble and ramble!  It’s ever the case!

What can we learn from facing into our “bad” habits?  First of all, I guess is to recognize that they’re not necessarily “bad”.  They’re just habits.  And sometimes we need to learn to love our habits even when we wish we didn’t have them.  What is our habit trying to protect us from?   What if we go against the tide of it?  What if we try to “tame” it?  Or, on the other hand, what if we just try to lean into it, “go with it” to see what it is trying to teach us?

If I “go with” my tendency to hurry, I can see that it is in some ways an indication of my wonder, my curiosity, my wanting “more”.  Perhaps it is a symptom of my energy level which I cherish.  Perhaps it is a deeply ingrained need for efficiency – which is sometimes useful.

On the other hand, if I go against this tendency, try to tame it?  I find myself, first of all, grinding my teeth and then being “bored”.  Hmmm.  When I intentionally resist my urge to “hurry up”, I do find that there is also an ease in my body, I notice my environment more, more thoughts are available to me.

All of our habits are in the service of something.  And sometimes, we no longer value what they once protected us from.  It’s always good to take a SLOW and honest look at them.  I am trying to do that.  To “eliminate the hurry” from my life…

So what habit do you have that might benefit from your gentle exploration of it?

Here is a poem about slowness from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer.  (Do check out the website with all of her wonderful poems by clicking HERE)

THREE SLOW-MOVING WONDROUS THINGS

~Rosemerry Wahtola Tommer

The heart of the blue whale

is in no hurry, only four to eight

beats per minute. And the glaciers

move their brilliant blue mass

less than three hundred meters a year.

And forgiveness, it can move even

slower than that. It may be months,

even years before it blooms.

But how wondrous, when at last

we recognize that, perhaps through

no effort of our own, it has released

its unhurried perfume into our thoughts—

oh sweetness we thought might never arrive,

oh surprise when it touches us everywhere.