
If ever there was a sermon I should preach to myself, this is it. Two words – don’t complain! I recently read in the New York Times an article about health tips from various psychologists about how to live a better life. There was the usual, eat more dark green leafy vegetables (that really seems to be the cure for anything that ails you!). Drink 8 glasses of water a day. 8!!!!! Anyway, the first item on this list was – “Don’t complain for seven days”. Holy cow! I might not be able to get thru 7 minutes! After I read this, I bean to notice HOW often I complain. About small little things, things I mumble to myself, about drivers, about ads on tv, about inflation, about you-know-who. Really. On and on. I was astounded at just how often I complain.
This was a real wake up call for me. I start in the morning before I even get out of bed – I am complaining to my husband… and then to my calendar that is too full or too empty. and on it goes all day until I turn out the light at night and complain that my feet are cold. This is going to be a REAL CHALLENGE for me. Seven days! Are you in? Do you want to go on the “no complaining” streak with me? The first step seems to be to notice just how often you do complain – either to yourself or aloud.
What is all this chronic complaining anyway? I have this lovely, easy, smooth life with practically no expectations. I feel like complaining has become a habit – and it does not become me! I feel like if I could develop a habit of simply not complaining, I would feel better about myself – and my world. Just simply noticing –“ there I go again, complaining”. What am I hoping will happen if I complain? Usually, I don’t expect anything to change. I’m just “blowing off steam”.
Find a little softness in yourself for the world and for yourself. Forgive the cashier who takes a bit too long to scan your produce, forgive your feet for being cold, forgive the computer for not behaving as you want, forgive yourself for forgetting your password again, forgive the need for so many darn passwords… forgive yourself with a smile and reward yourself each time you remember not to complain!
This also gets to the root of the idea of accepting what is. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to grit your teeth and “grin and bear it”. You simply have to not act on your desire to complain. Notice what has occurred, notice your “need” (desire) to complain – and then DON’T DO IT!!! that is the spiritual practice for this week! And, by the way, don’t forget to have compassion for yourself in this big challenge!!
And on another note – surviving this political turmoil…. UU minister Sean Dennison has written this lovely poem for us;
How to Survive the Apocalypse
First, learn to listen.
Not only for enemies around
corners in hidden places,
but for the faint footsteps
of hope and the whisper of resistance.
Hone your skills, aim your
heart toward kindness and
stockpile second chances.
Under the weight of destruction,
we will need the strong shelter
of forgiveness and the deeper wells
that give the sweet water of welcome:
"We have a place for you."
When the world ends, we must not
add destruction to destruction,
not accept a beggar's bargain,
to fight death with more death.
In order to survive the apocalypse-
any apocalypse at all-
we have to give up
the counterfeit currency of self-
sufficiency, the mistaken addiction
to competition, the lie that the last
to die has somehow survived.
-Rev. Sean Parker Dennison
Breaking and Blessing
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