DANCE WITH SUFFERING

Those two words don’t usually go together.  Usually, we try to run away from suffering, or tame it, or bury it, or wring our hands over it.  We are not usually called to dance with it.  But, I recently attended a workshop on this topic.

Jesus is reported to have said to his followers;  “Learn to suffer so as not to suffer.”  Odd advice.  A paradox it seems.  How do we do that? 

It seems that the first step is to recognize our own limits.  Right now, lift your arms up in the air, now spread them wide, now out in front, now in back.  overhead and below.  That defines the limit of your space.  We each have only so much space that we occupy and control.  We also have limits on how much energy we have, how much time etc.  Recognizing our own boundaries is an important step in the dance with suffering.  Bowing to our own limits and boundaries is an important task.  Think right now of some suffering that you are carrying…. Could you lay down some of it?  Temporarily? Or not?  The question is not so much how do I get rid of this suffering I don’t want, as how do I make my way through this particular experience.  Suffering does not define who you are, it only determines what you must deal with in this moment.

Early in the workshop, we experimented with physically bowing to our suffering.  We stood and put our hands on our heart, or stomach or both – wherever you feel the suffering.  And we imagined taking it into our arms and lifting it out of our body.  We looked at it.  We breathed with it.  We were then invited to physically bow down to it in whatever way felt right.  Maybe you just lift it and sway, or maybe you close your eyes and bow your head or maybe you. physically get down on the ground and lay the suffering at your own feet – not to get rid of it, not for the earth to take it away from you, but only to acknowledge its presence in your life and outside your life.  Bow to it, honor it, lay it down.  Once you have laid down your suffering, you are invited to bow to it three times.  Without knowing exactly what you are bowing to.  Just pay attention and notice what arises in you.  How does your body respond?  Do you get an image?  or a feeling? or a hunch? when you do this?

This act of physically moving the suffering out of your body and bowing to it is a way to give it respect.  It is a way of dancing with vulnerability, with acceptance.  A way of recognizing that we are all (as the Buddhists say) on a path of powerlessness.  This does not mean that we give up, or stay quiet or don’t get mad or don’t complain or don’t cry.  It only means that we are humble in learning the truth of what we must accept.  After you do this, see if you can come up with a one sentence song or prayer about suffering…. Dance with it.