“Real tears are a prayer beyond words”. ~Christian Wiman

I struggle with my tears which seem to come unbidden at embarrassing times… like when people sing “happy birthday” to someone or when the pastor at church offers a heartfelt blessing to each person in the pews.  I cry at weddings and funerals, over poems and graduations.  My friends are familiar with this.  A friend once joked that I would cry if she read the phonebook to me.  Others who are not criers have asked for lessons!

            So, this quote has been reassuring.  Tears as prayers.  How I love that idea.  After years of therapy I have decided that possibly my frequent tears are not some deeply repressed sadness, but are perhaps the opposite.  They somehow feel freed to appear when there is an opening for joy!  (Or that feels at least partially true!!)

Here is a poem for you from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer (see more of her wonderful poems by clicking HERE)

Contentment – by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

And there, beneath the white tent,

beneath the blue sky, beneath the stars

I could not see, while spinning somewhere

inside a spiral galaxy, I closed my eyes

and let the sound of flute and piano find me,

an Irish song meant to be played with a wee lilt,

though the tune itself knew something of loss,

and I felt my lungs swell and my heart expand

felt my spine straighten and my soles ground,

and I floated inside the music, stunned and surprised

by the vibrant inheritance of being alive. I hummed

with full cellular resonance and then, I was crying

—a warm spilling of tears—for what?

for beauty? for loss? for living with both in one breath?

What was it the tears meant? Oh friends,

as I felt it all with no attempt to push it away,

I was wildly, alively content.

Buddha's Five Remembrances

A Buddhist friend recently reminded me of these 5 principles of Buddhist thinking.  On the one hand, they can seem daunting and even pessimistic or at the very least unpleasant.  But as I think further about them, they are oddly reassuring to me.  The absolute worst IS going to happen to all of us.  That doesn’t mean that we should start sucking our thumbs and crying “It isn’t fair!” just now.  It means recognizing that we are all caught in the “inescapable web of being” as we UUs like to say.

This is not say that these truths are easy to swallow… but since they are true, it seems that we must at least taste, if not accept them.  How would you live differently if you embraced these 5 remembrances from the Buddha?

1.   I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

2.   I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.

3.   I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

4.   All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

5.   My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

If we accept these remembrances as true, it seems to somehow allow me some freedom.  Since I am going to die, get ill, lose everything,   why not choose to live loud and proud and joyfully RIGHT NOW?

Intuitive Collage

I have been playing around with something called intutitive collage. There are lots of ways to do this, but I have enjoyed the process I have settled on of late! Because composition books are seriously on sale right now, I've bought myself several for $.99 lately! Iuse them for all sort of things. One I use for my daily 10 minutes of free writing. I just date the page, set a timer for ten minutes and make myself start writing and not stop until the timer goes off. I am doing this in this cheap little notelbook which I think makes me feel freer to write whatever comes to mind. Knowing that I will likely just toss the whole book when I finish it. I then go on to my "real" journal (another 99 cent composition book which I have made beatuiful by pasting a picture on the cover!!) It is where I write my poems.

But, back to intuitive collage. In yet another book dedicated only to this purpose, I open a page. I allow myself to use only one magazine (gleaned from laundromats, used bookstores, etc.) I page trhough the magazine quickly (no more than 5 minutes for the whole process). I tear out either one image or 3 or 4. I choose images that for whatever reason "speak" to me -- images that have some "juice". Then I page through again searching for one word or short phrase which I tear out. The word or phrase may or may not have anything to do with the image/s I've chosen. I look at them, free associate from them. Then I glue them down into the book -- either one image and one phrase or all the images. sometimes I use the phrase, sometimes I don't.

I date the page, glue things down and then treat it as a tarot card or "divination" for the day ahead. What does this collage have to say to me about my day?

I find the process very fun and doable (5 minutes max for the whole thing!). And, I do also enjoy looking back over the book as it gets made. A record of my inner life. Here is an example or two form my current "glue book". Happy gluing to you!