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  • Writer's pictureevansph2

Lean Into Confusion



I am taking a class on “Ensoulment” where we explore all sorts of ways to open our heart, our soul, our intentions.  I was surprised when the teacher opened the last session with the idea that we might consider leaning INTO confusion!  What?  I had always assumed that the ideal was to lean into clarity, to clear the mind, to become more focused.  That seems to me in general to be what spiritual pursuits are all about.  But her challenge has made me wonder…  What if my task is to be the weak within the strong?  To withstand not-knowing.  To stand in confusion and not immediately try to make sense of things.  Because when we too quickly “make sense of things” we sometimes miss the strange and beautiful possibilities outside of our usual limited thinking.  Be the wave landing on the shore – not knowing where it’s going, the river meandering through the landscape, the wind with no purpose except to blow.    It’s worth experimenting with when you next feel frustrated, to see if what the frustration wants is merely for you to stop and notice it, be with it, befriend it rather than trying to banish it into the cage of clarity.  Sort of like keeping a soft focus, a questioning tone, a loose posture.  Maybe instead of sitting up straight and flying right, we need to slouch and meander?


So I’ve lately been resuming a practice of making a “coffee cup mandala” on some mornings.  You trace around the edge of your coffee cup and then  just let your pen wander around and see what shows up!  Here’s one I did recently after this class on leaning into confusion.  I don’t know what it is “about”, but I do know that it felt freeing just to play, to let my pen wander, to simply have fun.  I recommend it!  


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